ARE YOU A GOOD HUSBAND?
A Test for Husbands
DO YOU PROVIDE REAL FINANCIAL SECURITY?
If you answered "Yes" to these questions, you rate well as a good provider. It goes without saying that a woman feels insecure unless a husband has a steady income so that she does not feel threatened or uncertain. However, many men with more than adequate incomes are far from adequate as good providers. When you plan a change in job or business do you discuss it with your wife? By "protecting" her from your career problems you may be defeating your own purpose. She will sense that some problem is on your mind, and the uncertainty will make her feel uneasy on a personal as well as financial level,
wife’s dignity. Frequently husbands protest, "But I. never refuse her anything-all she has to do is ask!" They do not realize that the asking can be irksome and embarrassing to the’ point of injuring a wife’s happiness. Lack of pocket money for personal necessities is one of the commonest causes for unhappiness that we hear.
death. Many wives build up cases of acute anxiety because they do not know terms of a husband’s will. This is particularly true when the man
has multiple responsibilities, such as dependent parents or children by a former marriage.
Sharing information may be just as important to a wife’s sense of security as providing an adequate income.
"This test and the following one were prepared by Dr. Emily H. Mudd, director of the Marriage Council of Philadelphia, and are reprinted from The American Weekly with the permission of the author and the publisher.
ARE YOU CONSIDERATE?
4. Do you respect her religion, even though yours is different?
Different people find different things of great importance. Untidiness or chronic tardiness, in themselves, do not damage a marriage. It is the way those concerned feel about such things that counts.
If you answered "Yes" to these questions, it shows that you are able to put yourself in your wife’s place at least part of the time—a most important element in a happy marriage.
ARE YOU LOYAL?
1. Do you belittle her under the guise of teasing?
2. Do you discuss her domestic failings with others ?
4. Do you reverse her authority or decisions without consulting her?
A woman’s happiness and security are closely allied with the feeling that her husband is on her side first, last, and always. One of our clients found out that his marriage was in trouble because of his constant teasing stories about his wife as "my dumb darling", both to her face and behind her back. Such kidding can damage pride, especially if there is a thread of truth in it! A woman’s happiness is insecure unless she is basically confident of her husband’s respect. If you answered "No" to these questions,
you have a good score for loyalty.
ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND?
1. Does she tell you her troubles ?
Being able to share problems and count on a husband’s interest and understanding is important to every wife. Communication is the thing we are emphasizing in this set of questions, and unless you answered "Yes" to all of them, you do not win a passing grade. When communication breaks down, husband and wife become less sensitive to each other, and
more and more absorbed in their own hurts.
Good marriage partners should be able to discuss differences and reach an understanding through compromise or acceptance rather than through surrender or the avoiding of disputes.
DO YOU MAKE HER FEEL SUCCESSFUL?
Security on all levels is vital to a good marriage. Making a wife feel valued is an important part of her security. Unless you answered "Yes" to these questions’, better ask yourself if you are hurting the mood of your marriage by taking your wife a little too much for granted.
ARE YOU A GOOD PARENT?
Many women feel that the entire responsibility for training of children is unfairly on their shoulders and complain that the husband is either overly indulgent with them or overly severe in correcting them because lie
(toes not share a plan of training with her. Unless you answered "Yes" to
these questions, perhaps you are giving your wife an unfair share of your joint responsibility for the children.
ARE YOU REALLY GROWN UP?
For a perfect score, you should be able to say "No" to these questions. Psychiatrists know that gambling, boasting, or drinking to excess usually are signs of frustration in a person who is not sufficiently mature to take the daily grind of adult responsibilities. All are evidence of an attempt to escape realities in a dreamworld of wishful thinking. The same is true of the husband (or the wife) who must forever be chasing a new love. The Don Juan needs constant assurance that he is attractive to a series of women because he is not grown up enough for the giving and sharing that the partnership of marriage calls for.
ARE YOU A GOOD MATE?